F my Heartbreak

Usually the stereotypical love story is often reserved for the female gender. Men, are often portrayed as the take-no-prisoners-300-gladiator-this-is-muhf***in’-Spartan beasts.  We are hairy, disgusting and despise the word ‘commitment’.
However, that is not true and we can experience heartbreak with the best of them.

Recently, I am was seeing this girl.  She was smart, mature and very pretty.  Best of all our personalities matched. They were bff’s ❤ We would text non-stop and I mean NON-STOP.  Things were going great until  she said:

Which at first I was like: Where does she get off pretending to be Heath Ledger’s Joker? but I could understand.  We continued to date and date and date.  We even exchanged presents at Christmas.  She got me this super-cool Zombie Survival Guide calendar.

Anywho, we were supposed to ring in the new year together and par-tay like it was 2011.  I wanted my 1st real New Year’s kiss Unfortunately she got sick and our plans fell like Jimmy Buffett.
Over the past couple of weeks we would continue to text but not as much as we used to.


My conscious was telling me something: She is no longer into you.

She didn’t responded to my texts but the final straw came when SHE DIDN’T POKE ME BACK ON FACEBOOK!!!!!!!!

Then I received the text. You know what I’m talking about, it’s the ‘Idontwanttoansweritbecasuei knowitsoverwith’ text

It read as follows;

I’m not mad….I just wasn’t sure how to tell you how I was feeling…I think you should know that I started seeing someone.

I was actually okay with it. I came to the realization that this was where it was heading. I wish her the best because she is a great girl.

As for me, I will down tubs of cookies & cream Haagan-Dazs while watching Rom-Coms and hoping one day I will find love mutual-admiration.

BTW: I’m keeping the Zombie Survival Guide calendar, she’s SOL when the Zombie Apocalypse comes!


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